Friends with benefits (not like that)

I had the privilege to grow up in a Christian home with Christian parents.  My parents were not in full-time ministry but were wise and godly and good stewards of their money, good parents, involved in our church, gave to missions, etc. I'm thankful for that. That brought peace and stability to our home that now, as a father and husband, I am thankful for and I try to emulate.  As I reached my teen years and young adult years, I quickly realized something. I would still make bad decisions and choices, and I paid the consequences for those choices. I realized that while I have all of these physical traits and personality traits that are hereditary from my parents, but as it turns out, wisdom is not a hereditary trait. If I was going to build a stable life in adulthood, based on wisdom, it would not just happen. It needs to be searched out actively.  Maybe you have noticed something similar in your family life, or maybe your life has been completely absent from an example of wisdom. It's a blessing to have parents and grandparents others in our lives who have set for us a good example of wise decisions and for those of us who have experienced that, awesome, such a blessing.  But maybe, you didn't grow up with that person to look up to, maybe you didn't have that example to follow, and now you are looking for direction. Because wisdom is not hereditary, the good news for all of us is...

Wisdom is not based on the relationships of your past...  Wisdom does not discriminate based on your family history. Wisdom is available to anyone who is hungry for it. It not hidden, it is available and accessible to all. It is something we search out in the Word of God. In Proverbs 4:4-9 we find the author writing to his son. He is sharing with his son something that his father had shared with him when he was young. So the dad is telling his son what grandpa used to say... 

In this proverb from Grandpa, we find him using personification to describe wisdom. Verse 6, "Don't turn away from wisdom, for she will protect you." Wisdom is personified as "she". Wisdom is something (or better someone) with whom we can have a relationship. That relationship can be grown and improved over time. It is not a talent or skill or gift that you have it or you don't. It can be attained by anyone simply because it is a relationship. She is a person that we should want to get familiar with. She is a person that we can grow to love and take care of. ...Wisdom is a relationship for your present. What's more, in verse 8-9 we see that the relationship that we can have with wisdom is symbiotic. I use that term, not to sound intelligent. The truth is that I first heard that term on "Diego and Friends" a few years back with my children (and I) watching. Wikipedia tells us that a symbiotic relationship is a long-term relationship between individuals of different species where both individuals benefit. In the cartoon, Diego showed us that the ox-pecker bird gets a free ride on the back of the hippopotamus and the hippo is kept clean and free of insects because the bird eats bugs from his back during the ride. There's even a whole song and dance, it's pretty catchy.

The author of this proverb (we assume Solomon) had been taught intentionally by his father (King David). And it worked because Solomon was wise. Now Solomon employs the same strategy on his own child. But who was his son? Rehoboam. Was he a wise man? NO Was he a good man? NO. A good king? NO. He was one of the worst! Even the wisest man of all time could not force his own son to be wise. Neither was his grandson Abijam, but Asa (Asa) the great-grandson of Solomon, and great-great-grandson of David was godly and wise. So, while these proverbs were written to someone who did not follow or appreciate them, we can take their place and enjoy the fruit of the counsel. The fruit of a life well-lived. 

Wisdom is not based on the relationships of your past, it is a relationship for your present.  As a father, I can now see how my parents we trying to teach me and influence me to be wise as a young person, I wish I had taken more notice at the time and been more interested in their direct counsel and their indirect example. But now as a father, I am seeking to influence my daughter's lives, encourage them to seek wisdom, fear the Lord so that they lead successful and God-honoring lives. But ultimately that is a road they decide to take or not.  Maybe you grew up with wise parents, people who introduced you to Wisdom. But maybe you didn't. Maybe you had a terrible childhood. The hope here is that the lack of wisdom and stability that you experienced does not have to follow you because it is not hereditary. You can start a new generation, a new life and a new family, focused on godly Wisdom. Search her out and get to know her better, every day.